Monologue: Bedfellows

by Andrew M. Kasper
Originally written for Matt Olsen
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Public Domain License.

SETH: Honey, I'm home earl-- WHOA! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yikes. Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you, sweetheart. Who's this? Sorry, I'll let you two get dressed. Hi, I'm Seth. Nice to meet you. I didn't mean to startle you, hon. I'm sorry. Wow. Pretty amazing. I guess I never thought of how I'd react to something like this, but now that it's happening right here in front of me... wow. I'm surprised to say that I'm not angry or anything. Not that I'd expect myself to be; I've never been the jealous type. But this, I mean this is... wow. Look at me going on. I'm sorry. Rude of me. Can I get you anything to drink? No? You, hon? No? Was that weird? That was weird. And now I'm staring. And now I'm talking about staring. My God, talk about making an awkward situation worse. Am I right? Tell you what. I won't even look at you. I'll just stare at the ceiling. Sound good? Honey, funniest thing happened at work today. Tim was asking about contracts for the 2006 fiscal year, but John Raimer thought he was talking about 2005. So, they got into this-- you know what? Not a very funny story. Funny, though. I thought things were going fine with us. You and me, I mean. Not you. I've never met you. Really did think things were fine. We never fight. I guess we haven't had sex in a while. Makes sense now. All right. Going to the kitchen. Last call for drinks! No one? I might stay at a hotel tonight, honey. Just seems like that's the sort of thing you do in a situation like this. I'll see you later, I guess. It was nice to meet you, Miss.